ten : we used to stick together;

Song: Ignorance, Paramore


We got to the restaurant and I was absolutely shaking. I really didn’t want to tell him, but he was going to figure it out sooner or later. I think he could see how nervous I was, because he asked me.

“You alright?”

I looked across the table at him, he meant well, I could tell he was worried about me. Why is this so hard to do? He loves me, he would take this as is. I shouldn’t be so scared. I set my menu down and took his hand across the table, I took in a deep breath and thought of the words to say.

“I’m pregnant”

His face was hard to read. I think he was in shock because his eyes were wide open but he wasn’t saying anything. I didn’t know if I should say anything else or give him a chance to speak.

“Did you just say what I think you said?” he asked.

“I’m pregnant? Yes…”

A smile spread across his face, he jumped up and picked me up in a hug. He caught me off guard but I tightened my grip around him. People stared but I didn’t care.

“This is amazing!”

“It is?” I asked pulling back.

“Did you think I was going to be mad?”

I just nodded, “because of hockey…”

“You always come before hockey. As much as it means to me, you will always be number one in my life, and so will this baby”

I was excited beyond words. I did all I could do, I just kissed him. I heard some random claps and cheers around me and I just laughed and wrapped my arms around him.

He sat back down across from me and you couldn’t wipe that smile off of his face. You couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. I was so excited right now, I was going to have a family with this guy, the guy, the one and only guy.

We finished dinner and decided to just go back home. The entire way back he was practically bouncing while he was driving. I couldn’t stop smiling at him and the future I was going to have with him. We had so much time in front of us, and I couldn’t wait to spend it with him.

He unlocked the door, hoping to see a dark apartment and Anna sitting on the floor with her Thai food, in front of the tv, but that was not the case. The apartment was dark, yes, but there was no Anna, and no Paranormal State marathon on tv.

“Shit, where is she?”

“Great, she’s gone again” he sighed.

“Give me your phone please”

“Anna broke it, remember?”

“Fuck” I huffed.

I went to my bedroom where I had left my cell phone, by accident. I scrolled through my contacts to Anna’s number and impatiently waited for the answer.

“Julie!” I heard her exclaim, she wasn’t sober.

“Damn it Anna, where are you!?”

“I’m out” she said subtly.

“I’m aware of that. Where?”

“You’re not my mother” she huffed.

“Than stop acting like a fucking five year old that we feel we have to watch every five minutes. We try and go out for once, you lie to us again, this is getting frustrating”

“Fine. I’ll come back”

“I’ll come looking for you if you’re not back in ten minutes, and don‘t drive!”

“I’ll be there! And I‘m not stupid” she snapped.

I shut my phone and threw it onto my bed in frustration. I was getting tired of this and I didn’t know how much more I could take of her. I needed Ryan more than she did right now, I just want to live my life in peace. He can straighten her out, she will listen to him.

I can’t even work without her calling me every hour. I just want my life back, and I want her to have her life back. This was not my best friend. I miss the old Anna. I need her back, I need the old Anna back.